{"id":2823,"date":"2014-09-30T09:18:20","date_gmt":"2014-09-30T09:18:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/self-help-4-stroke-plugin-upgrade.local\/?p=2823"},"modified":"2015-05-29T12:36:41","modified_gmt":"2015-05-29T12:36:41","slug":"stuart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/?p=2823","title":{"rendered":"Stuart"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/204161188%3Fsecret_token%3Ds-UMgAT&amp;color=990066&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n <div id=\"wp-spoiler-1\" class=\"wp-spoiler wpui-hashable wpui-narrow wpui-styles\" data-style=\"wpui-narrow\">  <h3 class=\"wp-spoiler-title wpui-hashable fade-true slide-true open-false\"><strong>Q. How have others reacted to your stroke?<\/strong><\/h3><div class=\"wpui-hidden wp-spoiler-content\"><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"speechquote\"><p>I\u2019ve been really lucky, Wilma my partner has been amazing. She\u2019s totally been there for me since day one. I wasn\u2019t long retired and she was just getting used to having me under her feet all day- we had such plans for our retirement. When I got home I was such hard work, Wilma had to help me get in and out the bath and even help me get to the toilet during the night. It\u2019s hard when your wife turns into your carer.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nYou really find out who your true friends are. I was surprised that some friends drifted away they just didn\u2019t seem to know how to deal with me. I could be bitter about it but hey life\u2019s too short. Bill from works been great, we meet up every week and give Wilma and me a break from each other.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><\/div>  <\/div><!-- end div.wp-spoiler --> <\/p>\n<div id=\"wp-spoiler-2\" class=\"wp-spoiler wpui-hashable wpui-narrow wpui-styles\" data-style=\"wpui-narrow\">  <h3 class=\"wp-spoiler-title wpui-hashable fade-true slide-true open-false\"><strong>Q. How has your stroke affected your relationships?<\/strong><\/h3><div class=\"wpui-hidden wp-spoiler-content\"><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"speechquote\"><p>If anything Wilma and I are stronger. We still have a laugh together and when things get hard we try to work it out together rather than blame each other. We still need our space, but that\u2019s pretty normal isn\u2019t it? We had thought about moving abroad when I retired but now we\u2019re stuck in sunny Scotland. But you know it\u2019s made us think about what\u2019s important like being close to our children and grandchildren- now life\u2019s slowed down we see much more of them. At first we didn\u2019t want to have carers in but we now have someone in the morning and that wee bit of help has made such a difference to us. Wilma\u2019s less tired out but almost more importantly it means she\u2019s still my partner most of the time, not my carer. To begin with I thought she didn\u2019t fancy me anymore but when we eventually discussed it she said it felt strange with her caring for me and everything. She wasn\u2019t sure if I would be interested any more, I soon put her right.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><\/div>  <\/div><!-- end div.wp-spoiler -->\n<div id=\"wp-spoiler-3\" class=\"wp-spoiler wpui-hashable wpui-narrow wpui-styles\" data-style=\"wpui-narrow\">  <h3 class=\"wp-spoiler-title wpui-hashable fade-true slide-true open-false\"><strong>Q. Can people see the effect of your stroke?<\/strong><\/h3><div class=\"wpui-hidden wp-spoiler-content\"><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"speechquote\"><p>So as you can see I\u2019ve been left with weakness down my left side and I have to use this thing (points to wheelchair). I suppose people don\u2019t see the other side of it, like coming to terms with how it\u2019s changed my whole life. It\u2019s not all been bad, but it\u2019s been quite a journey so far.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><\/div>  <\/div><!-- end div.wp-spoiler -->\n<div id=\"wp-spoiler-4\" class=\"wp-spoiler wpui-hashable wpui-narrow wpui-styles\" data-style=\"wpui-narrow\">  <h3 class=\"wp-spoiler-title wpui-hashable fade-true slide-true open-false\"><strong>Q. What is your take home advice?<\/strong><\/h3><div class=\"wpui-hidden wp-spoiler-content\"><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"speechquote\"><p>Don\u2019t try and change what you can\u2019t change, like going abroad. Some relationships have got stronger but some friends have drifted away.  It certainly worked for us being able to talk about it. You worry about what you might hear from those close to you, but most of the time things are never as bad as you think they will be. It helped not over-thinking things and talking about my worries instead of lying awake at night thinking about them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><\/div>  <\/div><!-- end div.wp-spoiler -->\n<div class=\"brainwave\">\n<h3>Key points<\/h3>\n<p>It&#8217;s important to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>not try and change what you can\u2019t change<\/li>\n<li>not over-think things<\/li>\n<li>talk about your concerns<\/li>\n<li>realise that some relationships may get stronger while some friends may drift away<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Key points It&#8217;s important to: not try and change what you can\u2019t change not over-think things talk about your concerns realise that some relationships may get stronger while some friends may drift away<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[147],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2823","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-people-in-my-world-30914"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2823","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/50"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2823"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2823\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6337,"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2823\/revisions\/6337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.selfhelp4stroke.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}