What Elena changed to achieve her goal

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Picking my daughter up from school was very important to me. There was no way I was going to change this goal so I started planning the small steps that I could take to help me in achieving it. I realised however that I had to be realistic in the time I was allowing myself to achieve this and that there were obstacles that I had to overcome.

Something to try

  • Let’s now think of your main goal. Make a note of the stages you will need to go through to achieve this.
  • Think of any obstacles and what you will do to tackle them.

Let’s now go onto see how Elena moved towards her goal.

For more information please see our: Problem solving worksheet on this website.

Two months later…

Jane and Deirdre chat at their local stroke group. Select the arrow keys to hear Deirdre’s story.

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Jane and Deirdre chat two months later at their local group

Scene 1

  • Jane: Hello Deirdre, how are you?
  • Deirdre: Much better Jane, thank you, much better.

Scene 2

  • Jane: What’s helped?
  • Deirdre: You were right. I’m still tired, but its easier to cope with. I use my daily diary, and I get more done because I pace myself and relax. And I don’t give myself a hard time now.

Scene 3

  • Deirdre: Setbacks are a chance to learn, problem solve. I finally feel like I’m coping, at last.

 

Something to think about

Do any of these ideas sound useful to you? It might be worth giving them a try.

Let’s go on to look at the problem-solving sheet that Jane and Deirdre talked about.

Templates to download

Download the Daily activity diary [.pdf, 50KB]

Download the problem-solving sheet [.pdf, 330 KB]

Taking the first step

So how do you take the first step to setting goals?

Diagram of goal setting: What do I want to be able to do, what do I need to be able to do, what do I hope for?

Ask yourself important questions like:

  • What do I want to be able to do?
  • What do I need to be able to do?
  • What do I hope for?

It’s a good idea to write it down or record it on your phone.

Key point

You’re more likely to succeed if you write your goal down or record it.

Sleep – what is normal?

  • Everyone needs sleep but what is normal for you may be different for someone else.
  • It is known that sleep decreases with age from 8 hours at 15 years of age to less than 6 hours aged 80.
  • Patterns of sleep also vary and we can wake up more often throughout the night as we age.
  • Lack of sleep can affect how we feel.

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    I always wake up early in the morning and can’t get back to sleep. By midday I am exhausted and need a nap.

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    I always have to get up at least 3 times during the night to go to the loo which leaves me feeling sluggish. I find taking coffee during the day keeps me going.

    Something to think about

    Are you worried about your sleep? Do any of these stories sound familiar? Let’s explore this further.

Why bother being more active?

Everyone seems to be telling us that being more active is good for you, and it is in many ways. It is even more important now that you have had a stroke. Lets look at some of the reasons why.

Have a look at these statements and select whether you think they are true or false:

Q. Which of the following statements are true or false. Select true or false for each one.
1.
Being more active will prevent my physical problems getting worse
2.
Being more active will make me feel better
3.
I will have to join a gym or a club to be more active
4.
Being active can help prevent me from having another stroke
5.
Being active will allow me to do more in my daily life
Reset
Reveal

As you can see there are lots of good reasons to be more active in your everyday life but sometimes it’s hard to get motivated. Lets look at how to do this.

More information

Just Move fact sheet

Isobel at home

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Three weeks after leaving hospital Isobel felt she was ready to resume her activities around the house. Her husband had taken time off work and she was aware that he could not stay off for much longer. He had been undertaking all the housework and cooking but was not keen for Isobel to return to any of these tasks. Together they agreed which these tasks she would try first before moving on to others.

“Well I have been home from hospital a wee while. I am in the house a lot more than I was before my stroke. Which has been a hard adjustment as I was always out and about. I wouldn’t say I was housebound as such, but I am still reliant on my husband or daughter if I want to go out anywhere. I try not to dwell on this too much as I am doing a lot better than I was when I first came out of hospital. I have never been one much for daytime TV. I do watch it occasionally, as I like a bit of Loose Women! But I didn’t want to become a couch potato glued to the television. I read and do puzzles on my tablet. It keeps the mind active, but I have to remember to keep my body active too. Setting an alarm reminding me to get up about every 20 mins helps an awful lot. It is easy to lose track of time and stiffen up. Doing this from the start has really helped my flexibility and got me in a routine.

Before my stroke my husband would say I was a whirlwind around the house. Always a washing on, doing something. They offered me a home help when I left hospital, I said no at first, but it did help for the first wee while as my husband was out most the day and I was really tired. She was lovely and helpful, but I feel I am at the stage now I can do more for myself. I can now make my lunch, do a wee bit of laundry, even prepare a bit of dinner in advance. I can’t do it all in one go as I can tire really easily, but doing it in small chunks keeps me active and I feel I’ve got a purpose around the house.

Before my stroke I used to go to Tai chi most mornings. I still get to the odd class with my daughter, but not nearly as often. But I make it part of my routine to do some simple exercises every morning as best I can. I find it helps with my balance gives me energy and really helps my concentration. Music is also so good for me. Sometimes when nobody is about I turn up the radio and have a wee boogie to whatever’s on the radio! It’s been hard adjusting to my new lifestyle, but I don’t let it get me down. I remind myself that I have come a long way. Every little helps, no matter how silly it seems. If it works for you and it is safe, give it a go!”

Something to think about

Do you think you can add any of Isobel’s suggestions to your daily routine? Why not give them a try?

Karen

Q. How have others reacted to your stroke (stigma)?

My mum has been great, she’s always been there for me, she listens when I talk and is always there at the end of the phone. My husband Barry was good at first, but I think he is struggling to accept that things are different. I get tired really easily but he just wants me to get on with things, like I always did. My oldest son found it hard to come to terms with – I think he worries about me. He’s reliant on me but I felt really guilty at the start that I couldn’t take care of him, but we’re working on that. Luckily, mum helped out a lot at the start.

Q. What about friends?

Some of them have been great and encourage me to go out and meet up, but I don’t really think they understand. I meet them for half an hour and they think I’m fine, but they don’t see me when I’m really tired and get my words mixed up. At first, I used to avoid them, because I felt stupid when I forgot my words.

Q. How has your stroke affected your relationships?

My relationship with mum is much stronger, but I feel like my relationship with my husband has changed. He wants me to be how I used to be and gets annoyed when he has to help more about the house. I always used to be busy and on the go, but now I’m not like that, I get tired really easily. To be honest we argue more, he thinks I’m grumpy, and we’re not as close as we used to be. I feel like I can’t talk to him anymore, or maybe he just doesn’t want to listen. With my friends, I don’t see them as often now, maybe I am pushing them away, because I’m worried about what they will think about me. But I made a point of meeting up with my good friend Gayle for a coffee every week and that helped.

Q. Can people see the effect of your stroke?

Not really, I tend to forget words and get tired, but if I look in the mirror I look the same as always. At first, I wanted to scream when people said how well I look, because on the inside I felt totally different. Now, I know they were just trying to make me feel better.

Q. What’s your take home advice?

It’s easy to want to avoid people at first, but I found that spending time with my mum and Gayle and talking about how I felt actually helped. I realise that my life might not be the same again, but I think my husband Barry has not come to terms to with that. He could probably do with having someone to talk to about how he feels about things. It’s still less than a year since my stroke so hopefully he’ll come round.

Key points

It’s important to:

  • spend time with close friends or family and talk about how you feel
  • accept that life might not be the same again
  • realise that change can take time and this will vary from person to person

Rating conversations

Three ladies engaging in conversation

© Crown copyright 2009

Communication is a two way process. It has to involve someone else and requires give and take.

It is the way we connect with others and this should make us feel good.

Lets think about your last three conversations.

  • Do any of these conversations stand out as having a low rating?
  • Is that typical for you, or a change since your stroke?
  • Lets think about the different things that can affect your communication.

I want to stop smoking

Charles has stopped smoking.
Please select the arrow keys to see how he did it.
Cold turkey works for some people, but you are more likely to be successful if you have help – a nicotine replacement, for example.Most people need help to stop smoking, so don't give up at the first hurdle.
Nicotine Replacement Therapy – NRT works better than willpower alone. NRT is also available as gum, dissolving tablets and nasal sprays.You may slip up, but don’t be hard on yourself. Plan ahead to avoid being tempted to smoke.Smokeline is available if you feel you need extra support. Call Smokeline Scotland on 0800 84 84 84 to speak to an advisor.Stopping smoking can save you money as well improving your health.

Key point

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Charles – scene by scene.
Scene 1 – Charles smoking with a thought bubble, looking miserable.
I started smoking when I was a teenager and I had been smoking 60 cigarettes a day for the past twenty years. After my stroke I decided I wanted to quit smoking so I just stopped and tried to go cold turkey.
Key point – Cold turkey works for some people, but you are more likely to be successful if you have help – a nicotine replacement, for example..
Scene 2 – Charles (looking grumpy) being offered cigarettes from his wife who’s smoking (sitting in armchairs)
I didn’t realise how hard it would be, especially as my wife is a smoker.
Key point – Most people need help to stop smoking, so don’t give up at the first hurdle.
Scene 3 – Charles goes to pharmacist to pick up his medicines and sees the poster (Charles pointing to stop smoking poster)
I saw a “stop smoking” poster in the chemist and so I spoke to the girl behind the counter and she got the chemist over to talk to me. We sat down and had a chat about why I smoked and why I wanted to stop, we discussed setting a quit date and a time to come back.
Key point – Most chemists in Scotland provide stop smoking services.
Scene 4 – Close up of patch on arm
“The chemist suggested a few things to try and I decided to use the smoking patches ”
Key point – Nicotine Replacement Therapy – NRT works better than willpower alone. NRT is also available as gum, dissolving tablets and nasal sprays.
Scene 5 – Charles in a smoking group, 3 people sitting down, poster in background
“I also joined a stop smoking group, I got some great tips and support from other members of the group”
Key point – Support groups and NRT together are the most effective for most people. Not all areas will have a stop smoking group.
Scene 6 – Charles at a christmas party, in a squint party hat, smoking and looking annoyed
“I smoked half a cigarette at the christmas party, but I didn’t even enjoy it. I felt annoyed with myself.”
Key point – You may slip up, but don’t be hard on yourself. Plan ahead to avoid being tempted to smoke.
Scene 7 – Charles on Phone to smokeline
“After the party I felt a bit down about it so I phoned Quit Your Way Scotland for advice”
Key point – Smokeline is available if you feel you need extra support. Call Quit Your Way Scotland on 0800 84 84 84 to speak to an advisor.
Scene 8 – Charles looking healthier, with a jar of coins saved from smoking (Giving up smoking) possibly going to travel agent
“I’ve now managed to stop smoking for 6 months, it wasn’t easy but I feel so much better. I saved a lot of money by stopping smoking, enough to book a nice holiday”.
Key point – Stopping smoking can save you money as well improving your health.

Key point

The day you stop smoking your body starts to heal. It’s never too late to get benefit from stopping smoking.

Something to think about

Think about how you react to things you find stressful. Do you do something to calm yourself down or make yourself feel better such as having a cigarette? It might help to explore the Stress relief topic.

More information