What Others Can Do

Talking and sharing always involves at least 1 other person. Therefore it is probably best if you get them involved in any goals you set to improve your communication. Remember to share your bill of rights with others.

This is not always easy and you may have some doubts, but it will help in the long term.

To tell or keep to myself!
Couple seated on the sofa looking at a bill of rights

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Illustration of 2 people on sofa looking at the bill of rights and a thought bubble coming up
Lady: Thinks: “I hope I don’t come across as stupid but I think it will help make him understand”.
Man: Says: “Thanks for sharing this, this really helps”, Thinks: “If only I’d known how she was feeling’.

Something to try

Why don’t you try sharing your Bill of Rights with the people you communicate with?

How many alcohol units do you drink?

Do you know how many alcohol units do you drink? Have a look at the guide below. It is also important to note not only the units of alcohol, but also the calorie content too. Remember the daily recommended intake is different depending on whether you are a man or a woman. It is also recommended that you have two alcohol free days per week.

Women Women 2-3 units daily Men Men 2-3 units daily
Alcohol Unit Measure Calories
Beer
Pint of beer		 2.8 Units
(5% 568ml)		 Pint 215 kcal
Cider
Bottle of cider		 1.4 Units
(5% 275ml)		 Small Bottle 119kcal
Wine
Large glass of wine		 2.1 Units
(12% 175ml)		 Large Glass 126kcal
Alcopop
Bottle of alcopop		 1.4% Units
(5% 275ml)		 Bottle 237kcal
Spirits
Glass of spirits		 1 Unit
(40% 25ml)		 Single Measure 56kcal
Cocktails
Cocktail		 Many cocktails contain 3 x 25ml spirit measures which is the equivalent of 3 units.
Cocktails are often mixed with sugary drinks which will make the calorie content higher
A Margarita typically contains 4.5 Units and 550 calories

it can be useful to record your alcohol intake for a week. It is surprising how units can add up!

Weekly Unit Calculator - Example

Download the weekly unit calculator [.pdf, 320 KB]

Something to try

Why not record your alcohol intake for a week and see if there is anything you can change. You can use the diary sheet or try some of the unit calculators in ‘More information’ below.

Something to think about

Are you concerned about the amount you drink? Why not discuss this with a health professional. There is lot of support out there and they can advise the right one for you.

More information

For a more detailed alcohol calculator see:

Conclusion

Hopefully this section will have given you some hints and tips that will encourage you to get on with things.  Why don’t you explore the rest of “Keeping Well” for more information and support in moving forward.

Sharing with others

Make your own list of communication preferences to share with others.

Select the option which applies to you.
When we are talking together…….
1.
You do all the talking
2.
You give me plenty time to answer
3.
You take your time
4.
You speak to me like I am 12
5.
You check I am understanding you
6.
You make me laugh
7.
You always correct me
8.
You treat me like a grown adult
9.
You notice when I am getting frustrated
10.
You raise your voice and keep repeating
11.
You reassure me
12.
You clearly understand my difficulties and adapt
13.
You turn off background noise
14.
You don’t all speak at once
15.
You pretend you understand me
Start again
Print page

View table version

Make your own list of likes and hates to share with others:
I like it when I hate it when
You do all the talking
You give me plenty time to answer
You take your time
You speak to me like I am 12
You check I am understanding you
You make me laugh
You always correct me
You treat me like a grown adult
You notice when I am getting frustrated
You raise your voice and keep repeating
You reassure me
You look so impatient
You clearly understand my difficulties and adapt
You turn off background noise
You don’t all speak at once
You pretend you understand me

Download printable sharing strategies template [.pdf, 56 KB]

Key point

Conversations are easier when you let others know how you want to be treated.

Magda: I hope to get back to work

Goal setting plan

1. What is my goal?
I hope to get back to work
2. Where am I at just now?
Date: 21 February
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3. My action list
By when?
  • Keep in touch with the boss
  • Attend relaxation classes
  • Build up my energy levels – go walking
  • In 1 month
  • Next week
  • 3 times a week
4. How am I doing?
Date: 21 March
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5. What’s next on my list?
Meet my boss &#10004
Start relaxation classes &#10004
Book a health check with the practice nurse
Brush up my computer skills
Start back at work

My goal is to get back to work. I’ve had a meeting with my bosses and they’re positive. I’m a bit nervous about it but I’m getting help to learn how to cope with my stress. I know there are a lot of things I need to do in order to get there. The goal planner has helped me to take it step by step.

Magda

Asking for help

We’ve been thinking about relationships, people often report that roles change after a stroke, we saw this with Karen, Stuart and Richard.

People often find themselves needing help with things they didn’t before their stroke. Asking for help can be difficult and it is often hard to get the right balance.

Let’s have a look at how Kelly and Jean got on.

I want to feel less stressed

Man holding hands to head

Stress is “normal” and everyone copes in different ways.

You might feel reluctant to ask for help but If you are finding it difficult to cope, there is help available.

Knowing how stress makes you feel and the things that can cause it can help you to cope better.

To explore ways to reduce your stress please visit our topic Stress relief.

Something to think about

Think about how you react to things you find stressful. Do you do something to calm yourself down or make yourself feel better such as having a cigarette, an alcoholic drink, or eating rich fatty food? It might help to explore the Stress relief topic.

More information

Research papers:

More things you can try

Have a look over these suggestions to see if they might work for you.

Talking 2 people talking Why not talk with friends and family or at a local stroke group? Sometimes just knowing you have told someone else who understands is enough to make you feel better. Chest Heart & Stroke Scotland Advice line is another place to talk in confidence. Call free on 0808 801 0899.You can also chat with your GP or stroke nurse about how you are feeling. They can direct you to the right place for help.
Meditation Meditation Meditation takes a bit of practice, but is a great stress buster. It usually involves starting with a comfortable posture then clearing your mind of thoughts and distractions. Often breathing techniques are used to help you concentrate. Why not try the mindfulness session?
Being Active walking Being physically active is a great way to tackle stress. Although not a cure, it can clear your mind to help you deal with the issues that might be causing you worry. Why not visit our Being Active section for lots of helpful advice no matter what your level of ability is.
Avoid Unhealthy Habits No cream cakes Try not to rely on smoking, drinking alcohol and eating unhealthy as a way of managing your stress. Unhealthy habits will only make things worse. Habits take time to form, so will also take time to break. Why not visit Keeping Healthy for some help and support.
Laughter Laughter Usually we all feel more relaxed when we have been laughing. Laughing releases endorphins in the brain which give us a feeling of happiness. Try watching something funny on TV or arrange to catch up with some old friends and share stories.

Key point

Different things work for different people. If you find that a technique does not work for you, try something else. Remember to tell your family and friends how you are feeling. Once they understand how you feel they can help support you.

More information

Moving forward

You have seen from the different stories, there can often be a lot to think about when you are trying to become more active. So how will you move forward from these to start doing more?

Let’s hear how Hugh moved forward in his plan to become more active.


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HughWell I soon realised I couldn’t jump back into the thick of things. I started to go out on small walks on my own, firstly to clear my head, but I found within a short time I was able to walk further and then further still. Nothing “bad” was happening to me. In fact at the next stroke nurse appointment the nurse said my blood pressure was coming down. I was also loosing a bit of weight too. I didn’t go straight out and join a gym, but I did go out and get a dog! I get a lot from walking. Its great exercise and it’s free. It might not suit everyone, but it has given me the stamina, fitness and confidence to get back to decorating again. Not as much as I was doing before, but enough to fix all my son’s mistakes! Hugh realised that in order to reach many of his bigger goals he had to make some small steps to improve his physical fitness and overcome some barriers. His motivation was to get back to his previous role as a painter & decorator, he’s not there yet, but is more involved and is improving every day.

Key point

Challenges can differ depending on our age and stage of life. Fortunately, many of these challenges can be tackled. Finding confidence in your ability, deciding to change and finding support will overcome most challenges.

Writing Therapy – You and Your Story

Sometimes writing about emotionally upsetting events can be helpful. Why don’t you select the sound clip below to find out more about this.

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When people experience major life changes, or emotionally upsetting events the natural tendency is to want to tell someone. Although, this can help it can sometimes be difficult to make the step from wishing to tell someone and actually sharing. Some prefer to be more private or not bother others. There can be a fear of being judged, rejected, or giving the wrong impression. This is why opting to write about your deepest thoughts and feelings can be helpful.
Writing about your deepest thoughts and feelings, particularly in a structured story-like manner,  may help to put in order muddled moments and thoughts and bring about a new level of insight, and understanding.

If you want to try writing your own emotional story, think about an event that has/is emotionally upsetting for you. You could use a laptop, tablet or pen and paper, whatever works for you.  We suggest you have a look at frequently asked questions on the next page first and then follow our 3 day guide on how to approach this in a structured way. By following the guide you will get the most out of this experience; why don’t you set some time aside to have a word with yourself and create your own story.

Key point

Writing therapy can help to bring about a new level of understanding and order to upsetting events in life.
Remember you can choose to write with pen and paper, laptop or tablet. Whatever works for you.
We suggest you also have a look at frequently asked questions on writing.

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